Emotional Weekend

Since weigh day all hell has broken loose and I feel like i'm on some kind of emotional roller coaster

Friday - Got to work early and found a letter in the pigeon hole inviting me for an interview for the job I applied for, great news until I read the rest of the letter and promptly burst into tears. For my interview I have to prepare a presentation (subject currently unknown) in front of the head, deputy head, dept manager and maybe someone else and I know most of you will read this and be thinking ....and? For me its my personal hell, despite being coached by a manager in the area and the person i'd be working with I just no that I can't.

This got me thinking how things have changed for me in some ways - a few years ago after I lost my first baby, I had a complete breakdown, I barely left the house, I didn't sleep, I didn't socialise, I was basically a zombie. I don't no what changed but eventually I got a job and began to function again, I have had a few blips and I am still on medication but I'm ok usually. The one thing that never really recovered is my confidence, the ability to talk to people. I think on Monday I will decline the interview but then the thought of staying where I am is just as frightening so still considering options on that one.

On Saturday Mr Shrinks grandfather took a turn for the worse, he has a severe chest infection and they don't expect him to pull through, he's at home but he's confused and delirious.

with everything going on I'm doing my best to cling onto the plan, I've binged on all the hifi bars I had but as there is nothing else in the house thats been it, but I'm so close to going to the shop and buying everything in sight.