Secret's Out

There is nothing like moving home to stress you out and shatter all illusions you and your family had about you. Moving house is never the easiest thing in the world but when you can't actually do anything and you should be able to well that's a whole other level. I am suprised just how little I could do, I struggle walking from one end of the house to the bathroom at the other and sadly I do not live in a massive mansion, just a run of the mill terraced house. The in laws were around for the move (they live a few doors down) and having spent a few days with them in and around my house they are obviously now very aware of just how little I can do now. Last night I had a bit of a emotional breakdown after I couldn't get up of the sofa, I don't want to be like this anymore but I actually don't know what I have to do. I always say I have tried every diet under the sun but honestly have I actually given every single one of them my all? No, I've have with slimming world and Cambridge but not more then a few weeks and I think when I was about 16 my mum made me join weight watchers which I did for a while but I don't think I've ever lost more than 2 stone on a diet and obviously from the state I'm in I've never kept it off.

My problem and I guess this is somewhat of a confession, when I'm not 'dieting' all we have is takeaways and ready meals, we don't cook from scratch, we don't plan, everything we eat is processed. I want to learn how to make my own food, not necessarily all healthy but fresh. I want to bake my own bread and cakes, maybe eating my own cookies will be more of a comfort then eating a packet of mass produced crap.  Maybe this plan with a few days a week fasting is the way for me, I'm not sure I'll lose much weight but hopefully I won't gain more.

Today was moving day and we are in our new home.
I imagine it was a pretty stress free move compared to others as we moved just a stones throw away, no need for trucks or vans just a bit of muscle and we've had access to the new house for months so its pretty much decorated completely and we have a few weeks before we give the other place back so have some time to sort that.

  Today has proved a few things though I am

Beginning at Rock Bottom

I really don't know where to start with this blog.
I wanted to document my journey from rock bottom upwards but if history is anything to go by It will just document me trying a failing diet after diet only getting bigger and bigger.
 There is a slight difference this time around and that is my health, I am losing the ability to walk, my legs struggle to support my 25stone mass. If that wasn't bad enough my chronic asthma is so bad now that I use my reliever at least once an hour because any movement makes breathing difficult. I have suffered with depression since childhood and have suffered 3 pretty significant breakdowns in the last decade, so yeah I'm not in the greatest of places right now.

 I do want to change things though, I don't enjoy being fat, I don't enjoy being miserable. The only diet I've had any success with in recent years was cambridge diet, I lasted 3 weeks and lost 18lbs but something happened in my personal life and I turned to food as comfort. I don't think I will be able to do cambridge again but I might look into some other VLCD's