Day 2 -1st NSV

My 2nd day has been ok, well apart from a killer carb/caffeine withdrawal headache! 

I was feeling really hungry in the day so had some steamed chicken and only 3 shakes throughout the day! It obviously worked! This evening we spent the night with friends, usually a dinner and movie affair but I asked if I could skip dinner because of the diet, so they had nibbles during the movie! Doritos, crisps, dips and sweets all the stuff I love but actually I wasn't that tempted by it, I mean it smelt nice but I've tried really hard the last 2 days and I didn't want to ruin it, I guess that's my first non scale victory!

Day 1

I survived day 1 by the skin of my teeth.
 I caught myself trying to justifying to my husband why I couldn't do it and why we should do something else together, but then I realised this is the same pattern I always get into and the pattern I need to break. I didn't give up partly because I really do want to do this but mostly because there was nothing I could eat that wouldn't cause side affects from the Orlistat I started taking today. For anyone who doesn't know Orlistat is a weight loss drug which inhibits the bodys ability to absorb fat, it has some rather nasty (and messy) side affects if you eat too much fat whilst taking them. I decided to take it as a deterrent for cheating without thinking and it obviously works buuuuuuut what I didn't realise until I'd taken 4 of my 6 daily pills that my shakes have too much fat in. Other than a few stomach cramps I haven't had any of the dreaded side affects (touch wood). I don't want to stop taking them as they may just keep me on track but I don't want the side affects so I might try taking 1 pill instead of 2 and see how that goes.

After a few recommendations and a lot of very good reviews I downloaded a new book

I've not read very much of it yet but so far I have found a lot that related to me and my history of dieting so I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Enough is Enough

I have been procrastinating starting my diet, not on purpose but you make plans for dinner with someone and I'll think 'I'll start the day after' then you realise something else is coming up so I'll wait till after that and then it's 3 weeks later and I've gotten nowhere.

So yesterday I decided enough is enough and I was starting tomorrow, a quick message to my friend to change dinner plans on Saturday to a movie night, went to bed with water instead of juice, bottles washed ready for tomorrow (well today as its 3am)

My first target to aim for is a family wedding in the middle of May which is 7 weeks away, I don't really know what a realistic target is on a VLCD but I'm hoping to be about 3 stone lighter. My overall goal is to be near target when my mum comes over to visit, it will be the first time i've seen her (in the flesh) in almost 2 years. I know she desperately wants me to lose weight and i'd like to make her proud for once in my life, we'll see that is a long time to set for a girl who can't stick to a diet for more than a few weeks.

I am going into this with a slightly different head though, after speaking my friend Shrinking Alice, she said something that really struck a chord with me, she is on Cambridge and doing amazingly well and so far lost well over 6 stone. She said she's treating food like an Alcoholic would treat alcohol and really that's what I'm going to do, I need to learn that I control the food not the other way round but that's going to be a long, tough lesson to learn.

This Is Me

This is me exactly 11 months ago, give or take a few hours. Don't look very impressed Do I? This was taken abroad on my first holiday as an adult, visiting my parents who emigrated a few years ago - It was awful. 4 hours on a plane, in 2 seat where you can't lean back because of the arm rests, staying half way up a mountain in the middle of no where, the heat, parents being parents and the fact I hate being around people all made for a pretty miserable time, I was very glad to go home! I was about 23 and  a half stone and I vowed that I would finally stick to a diet and make some real changes.

I'd like to say that I succeeded in my mission but the only thing I managed was to gain a bit more weight!

Here's the thing, I know how to lose weight - eat less, move more. My problem is my head, I'm basically addicted to the junk food, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, food is my vice and It's killing me, literally.

In the last few years the only diet I've had any success with was Cambridge Diet, I lost 18lbs in a few weeks, I have to give it up because it was getting too expensive. I've found online alternatives which work out cheaper and I want to give it a try. Maybe getting away from food is the best option for me.