Thursday, 30 January 2014

My Reasons

I found this on an old memory stick and I wrote these back in Oct 2011- I'm about 2 stone heavier now



My Reasons

1.    To have a baby
2.    Have a non-judgemental pregnancy
3.    Have a homebirth
4.    Need maternity clothes
5.    Have a proper baby bump
6.    To  make Steve proud
7.    To make mum proud
8.    To make Graham proud
9.    To make Mark proud
10. Be healthy
11. Improve asthma
12. Improve depression
13. Improve anxiety
14. Not have doctors assume everything is weight related
15. No more chaffing
16. Not get cramp in hips/legs when sitting
17. Enjoy and want to exercise
18. Exercise with ease
19. Not be scared of swimming pools
20. Be confident
21. Walk with head up, not looking at floor
22. Not feel judged when eating out/buying food
23. Not avoid photos
24. Wear nice clothes
25. Not be stared at
26. Not be the fat friend
27. Not be the fattest at work
28. Fit in a plane seat
29. Go on a holiday and be comfortable
30. Not feel hot all the time
31. Buy from any shop on the high street
32. Not avoid mirrors
33. Look attractive to hubby
34. Buy nice underwear and feel comfy wearing it
35. Go out in summer
36. Feel like I matter in the world
37. Be social, make more friends
38. Say yes to social invites without worrying
39. Go to a theme park and fit on the rides
40. Be content with myself
41. To succeed at something
42. Be able to cross legs (lady like)
43. Not to hate self
44. Enjoy clothes shopping
45. Be carried in an emergency
46. To finish something I started
47. Fit through turnstiles straight on
48. Walk past people without worrying about getting comments
49. Not hate being naked
50. Not to feel gross during sex
51. Be able to stand at event
52. Not feel like I’m blocking people’s views
53. Be able to sit in theatre seats
54. Be able to walk long distances without needing to stop
55. Not have to walk sideways down train aisle
56. See my feet
57. Not have saggy boobs
58. Find bras that fit comfortably
59. Not have to worry about weight limits for things
60. Not feel wedged into a toilet cubicle
61. Not have people embarrassed to be with you
62. Not take fat jokes/comments personally
63. Not have inside of trousers wear away
64. Not be mortified to see people from school
65. Get out of car in tight parking spaces
66. Not worry about seatbelts fitting
67. Not wear same 2 jeans/5 tops/1 work trousers
68. Not bursting into tears when going out because nothing looks nice
69. Wear heels
70. Wear boots
71. Have a bath without getting stuck
72. Be adventurous in the bedroom
73. Prove haters wrong
74. Be able to sit on floor and not worry about getting up
75. Feel pretty enough to wear jewellery
76. Feel pretty enough to wear makeup
77. Feel pretty enough to have hair done
78. Like my reflection
79. Not being able to blame everything on my weight
80. Not wanting to be a recluse when things go bad
81. Find out what figure I have
82. For people to think of an insult that’s not ‘fat’
83. Not feel like life is on hold
84. Go for beauty treatments
85. Not to have to think ‘ I should be dieting’
86. Care how I look, without thinking what’s the point
87. To be able to go horse riding with friends
88. Have a healthy relationship with food
89. Not have to use bath sheets but towels
90. Have energy
91. Not feel broken
92. To believe compliments
93. Not to have stretched pores/follicles
94. Be able to love myself
95. Sit on Steve’s lap without hurting him
96. For Steve to carry me over thresh hold once
97. Weigh less than Steve
98. Steve be proud to introduce me to people
99. To have professional pictures taken to replace fat wedding pictures
100.              To feel normal

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Bump in the road

Slim and Save or any VLCD is a no no at the moment for me, I've been told that due to my recent nervous breakdown and the medication I'm on that this kind of diet isn't suitable for me. At one time I'd ignore the advise and do it anyway but I'm going to be a good girl and do as i'm told.

I'm going to take this weekend to think about things and talk to the husband and make a decision and I'll start something Monday.

Friday, 3 January 2014

Happy New Year

New year came and went in the usual fashion in our house - quietly! The evening was spent with the in laws for a takeaway and then back home for xbox and online shopping for more things for the new house.

So diet wise I am torn as usual - I really want to try slim n save again which is a vlcd but I know it's not the healthiest of choices and knowing my issues with food I'd probably put it all back on again after I was done because my eating habits won't have changed much. My other thought was weight watchers either online or group because nothing is restricted food wise and I guess it would be learning portion control.

Wish me luck


ta ta for now x